QUOTE OF THE MONTH
January
Each month, we'll post a rule from "Are You A Good Mentor?"
The window of opportunity for setting a young person's Moral Compass on track is short. DON'T SQUANDER IT!
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The sad reality is that those kids who may need a good mentor most are least likely to ever find one because their parent or guardian - their gatekeeper, doesn't feel there's a need... until it's too late.
Consider a good mentor an insurance policy. The benefits far outweigh the effort to seek one out.
Children are constantly receiving input to their mental hard drives almost from birth. Hopefully, that continues into adulthood by learning something new every day. But it's not until youngsters evolve into pupas at age ten or eleven that they start to put everything together and connect the puzzle pieces. When children are in their single digits, they are taught to be respectful, honest, fair, etc. All are good traits. But generally, they try to do those things because mom or dad or their teacher told them to, basically to please others. When they reach double digits though, they begin to evaluate and question things more intently. They determine what values and principles, some of which may conflict with things they see around them every day, are going to guide them through life and develop what will become their moral compass. During this period a youngster can be very easily influenced. They listen to everything and take it all in. If there are no good mentors in their lives to answer their many questions and quandaries, they will seek counsel from other less desirable sources. Don't let this happen.
A recent study conducted in Iceland determined that up to 30% of a person's DNA can be derived from nurture, not nature. The study focused on academic achievement but can be applied to all aspects of life. What it says is that the environment and influences someone grows up in and around can alter their DNA and change the outcome. That's important to understand for parent mentors and all good mentors. Despite not having all the advantages that life may offer, it may be possible for a youngster to be reprogrammed so to speak during their formative pupa years and beyond, primarily through good mentoring. Most young adults enter college with firm beliefs and a defined moral compass. After four years they graduate with a plethora of new knowledge but the same beliefs and moral compass they started with. That's because it was defined years earlier when the inquisitive pupa evolved into the independently thinking butterfly.
Now, I'm not a psychologist so I may have some or even all of this wrong. I am merely reflecting my observations over five decades. In the Introduction, I pointed out that this book is not intended to change your way of thinking. It is intended to make you think. So think! While doing so though, remember you only get one chance to nurture the pupa. Don't squander it!